Essay --

I blinked. The draw drummed on the table erratically as my hand twitched, my knuckles feeling the trembling broken break sight beneath my anxious thumb. The incessant tapping fell dull on my ears, only I earned more than one icy glance from classmates. The writing stared back at me, white and unyielding. My eyes were locked on its blankness, but I didnt see. The faint blue lines blurred, and fabricated shadows danced before my unfocused eyes. My mastermind whirred I could just about hear the gears struggling fruitlessly to turn without oil. I snarl my heart stretch with the effort of keeping all the restless energy within. My fingers laced up through my hair and I pulled on the long curls, as if the prickling pain would help me think. A scotch growl threatened to escape my throat, but I pushed it back down with a silent reminder that everyone was already irritated with me. The vague babble from behind served as an ignored cue that a friend was hard vainly to communicate wi th me. From experience I knew that after a moment, she would m convey, You behindt hear anything Im saying, can you? and give up on trying to reach me. That was fine by me. The whole of the humankind was a distraction I couldnt afford any individualist pulls from my work. As it was, a song hummed distantly in my mind, begging me to hound it closer. My pencil adopted the beat and I frowned. I studied my hands, the tendons sieve beneath the draw near, knuckles jutting out sharply, and scratches splitting pale skin. Instinctively, I drew one up to my mouth and began to gnaw on an ill-use and ragged fingernail, feeling my braces click, metal on metal. I find my habit, but did nothing to stop.A thousand thousand thoughts sauntered across the surface of my sanity, mocking... ...ped a bucket of cold water over my sleeping chimera. The go bad of my pencils knocking bounced off the walls of my consciousness and echoed back into my ears. lecture of description flashed before my eyes , leading me on towards the light. My papers utter blankness ceased mocking me, and held promise instead of contempt. I felt the words there, scripted in ink only I could see, waiting, waiting for me.I felt a smile push the corners of my mouth up and my pencil began to aerify across the paper, soft whispering noises floating up to me like a song, the gentle proof that I had broken down the walls around my creativity. The pencil drummed on the table erratically as my hand twitchedI almost laughed aloud. I couldnt stop now if I wanted to. Ive got it, I called over my shoulder. Yeah? What? my friend leaned forward absently. I smiled. sources block.